Crew Blog

Ahoy, mates! Well, this week, there’s good news, and bad. The good news is, our plucky crew managed to install a “web cam” very close to the real Bikini Bottom, which is deep in an undisclosed location in the South Pacific. Our web cam was not installed in Bikini Bottom itself, as that might alert the deep-sea dwellers to our presence, but we managed to set it up nearby without anyone noticing. We were thrilled!

For a short time, we had a window open to another world, and it was exciting! We spied a glimpse of Mrs. Puff completing a work of macaroni art. We saw Sandy take out her trash. We saw Patrick eat an entire “everything” pizza -- by himself! And we got to watch Squidward studiously ignore SpongeBob for their entire walk home from the Krusty Krab. That cephalopod is unflappable!

All right, maybe it wasn’t all that exciting. Things were heating up, though. SpongeBob invited Pat over for “story time,” and our porous friend claimed that he’d devised a new way to tell stories, using only smells … Naturally we were intrigued and yearned to find out if this was even possible, but right at that time, someone – and we’re not saying it was Plankton but it was, in fact, Plankton (we’re pretty sure) – hijacked our web cam! One minute we were had streaming audio and video; the next, our computer was overrun by about two zillion “Eat at The Chum Bucket” pop-up windows. Very disappointing, to say the least. Curse that undersea bug!

We think it is possible that Plankton has not actually discovered us. We may well have just been in the wrong place at the wrong time when Plankton decided to fire off a salvo from his infernal “marketing” machine. I shudder to think what horrors he could unleash on an unsuspecting public, at a 10% discount … but at least there is a good chance that our cover has not been blown.

Still, we cannot take any chances. For our next visit to Bikini Bottom, we will have to be cleverly disguised. To that end, I have already set to work on a shark costume that should enable me to get in very close. Well, at least until the denizens of Bikini Bottom look up and believe they’re being attacked by a foam rubber shark.

Maybe I need a Plan B.